i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
