I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
