I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
