you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
