Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
