I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
