he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she looked like the before picture.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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