dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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