I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize