I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
