Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
ttyl tear gas
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
