so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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