I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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