listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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