just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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