My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
