Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize