So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
