So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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