I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize