If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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