If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
