Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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