they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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