he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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