So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
