His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
