i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
