i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
