remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You were trust falling into bushes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
