I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
