Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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