marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize