I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
