I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
