Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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