No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize