i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize