did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
