Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
