physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
