so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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