I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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