Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she looked like the before picture.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
