I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
