i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize