two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
