my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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