he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
