You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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