she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
