Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
