My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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