How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
