my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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