My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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