Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
