how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
