I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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