the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
